Michigander in Mass

Want to sound like a native here in New England? The first thing is to learn the place names. New Englanders love to heah forrinahs pronounce some of our more difficult place names. God help the non-native newscaster or weather-person his first few months here. So, to ease the transition and test just how well you might be able to fit in, here's a quick quiz for you. Maybe I'll make this a series, if it's popular enough.

It's tough to fit in. I just saw a native get ripped to pieces for not pronouncing Tewksbury as authentically as he could (as far as I could tell, it's "TUX-bree", but he says "TOOKS-bree", or "TEWKS-bree" and he grew up there). And that's a relatively easy one. Try these (answers follow). I'll start easy:

1. Chelmsford
2. Medford
3. Berlin
4. Revere
5. Woburn
6. Quincy
7. Concord
8. Norfolk
9. Reading
10. Peabody
11. Dorchester
12. Worcester
13. Leicester
14. Leominster
15. Scituate
16. Billerica
17. Haverhill
18. Cochituate

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(SCROLL DOWN FOR ANSWERS)

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1. Chelmsford: CHEMS-fid (note the typical dropping of the 'ah', er, 'r')
2. Medford: MEH-fid (but 'r's aren't the only thing we drop)
3. Berlin: BER-lynn (we love shifting the syllabic stress)
4. Revere: rih-VEAH (pretend you're at the doctor's office at the end)
5. Woburn: WOO-bin (you'll note we get a little lazy at the end of words)
6. Quincy: QUIN-zee (note the 'z' sound here)
7. Concord: KHAHN-kid (note all the vowel shifting going on heah)
8. Norfolk: NOR-fik (fik the folk)
9. Reading: RED-ing (like the railroad in Monopoly)
10. Peabody: PEE-biddy (remember it as "nobody" or P-diddy or whatever)
11. Dorchester: DAH-chest-ih (or DOT-chest-ih, or just DOT)
12. Worcester: WIST-ah (two syllables -- WUH-stah is also acceptable)
13. Leicester: LEH-stah (um, yeah, right, whatever)
14. Leominster: LEH-min-stah (can you hear the British influence?)
15. Scituate: SIT-chwit (two syllables)
16. Billerica: bill-RICCA (this is just wrong, or a test for "forinahs")
17. Haverhill: HEY-vrill (hey, this is just lazy)
18. Cochituate: cah-CHIH-chwit (hell, I *still* can't pronounce this)

But even the natives will argue over these pronunciations, so take them with a grain of salt. Send me your feedback--I'm not a native obviously. Open the club up to some new folks. We just need the passwords.

Oh, and be sure to visit The Wicked Good Guide to Boston English. (UPDATED at 4:16PM)